Our scripture study group looked at Isaiah 48-49 last night. We talked about east and west, symbols and likening. We tried to help each other get the prophet's thoughts straight. Wouldn't you know I woke up with two versions of the same poem in my head this morning. The Isaiah curse. Below are the two versions - the first came seamless before dawn. The second is the haiku, an eastern spin on the same thought. There is something satisfying about haiku: the numbered syllables, counted and tamed thoughts. Still, I like the first raw poem best. Why?
Isaiah
rushing waters wash
asymmetric
around
blue boulders
fluid fingers rolling
sharp facets
smooth
peace like a river
righteous waves
wake day
dancing
cradled
deep
embracing my ark
in emerald arms
pitched
against full tide
Haiku Isaiah
Rushing waters wash
Asymmetrical around
Selfish blue boulders.
Fluid fingers roll
Sharp facets smooth to round rock
Peace like a river.
Righteous waves wake day
Embracing my ark in arms
pitched against full tide.
What do you think? Which do you like best?
Quote of the Month
"There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who do not." - Unknown
1 comment:
I like the first one, too. Why is it that the first, original version of a work of art often hums a deeper resonance than a reworked, edited version? Is it because it's closer to the source? A right-brain disclosure unsullied by left-brain practicalities? But the second is good, too. And perhaps I like the first best only because I experienced it first.
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